The Golden Path
by
the chemical bros & the flaming lips
Sometimes I lay in bed wondering what could have been if I'd chosen certain other paths in life, if I'd reacted differently in certain situations, if I'd tried more completely, or behaved more honestly, or loved more openly, more deeply. I lay awake sometimes and apologise into thin air. This song runs through the temporal lobe at such times, and finds me wanting.
.................
the late winter sky tonight offers a clarity unobtainable to the meddled state of my mind
a solitary thought pushed out upon frosty breath mingles with the stars, a last gasp attempt to find
a truth to my answer, an answer in my truth
a way in which to justify this conscience subdued.
art: Lena V
words: bhp
5 comments:
Uncannily, I lie awake wondering the same of late, whispering into the sultry darkness and ether in the very same way, for the very same reasons, hoping for enlightenment.
And even though it is the summer moon I seek and look upon, your wintery sky, your beautiful meditation I know will bring me comfort from now on.
Wonderful post, bhp. Truly wonderful...
Then I can only empathise with you Cheeky Minx.
Although we are hemispheres away, I find solace in the fact that it's the very same moon upon which we gaze.
And what's wonderful, is you!
Well, darlin', you aren't dead yet so there's no reason why you can't live your life differently. This is the beauty of getting older, being able to reflect and re-evaluate. If you are bothered by something you did or didn't do in the past, you could always apologize to the injured party-it doesn't have to be a big deal, even just a note. There's no statute of limitations on an apology and if it would result in one less thing on your mind, it would be well worth it. You have a lot to offer, you just need to get going and put the new and improved model of yourself out there.
Yes I agree wholeheartedly Petunia. But what happens when an apology is not enough? If I knew a way to consign such things to history I'd write a book. Until then I let the music and kind readers such as yourself be my guide. I'm certainly grateful for your comment and advice. You're most welcome here. I've always fancied your namesake.
I don't know but you may be surprised to find that an apology is sufficient. People find it in their hearts to forgive all kinds of misdeeds. You are offering a gift along with the apology because one way to experience grace is to forgive someone. When I've made the decision to forgive someone I felt great- a lightness of being and freedom from negative thoughts taking up too much space in my brain. If you are sure, though, then how about working on forgiving yourself?
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